I have always tried to count my blessings and I truly believe the old saying that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratitude that makes us happy. So as I entered cancer treatment I tried to find some things that might be good about it - like losing that unwanted body hair that's always needing to be trimmed or plucked or shaved. Who needs nose hairs, right? Well, as it turns out nose hairs are something that you should be grateful for. Do you know what allows you time to sniff that runny nose before it drips? Nose hairs. Do you know that awful feeling when you have a cold and just can't catch it in time? I'm starting to get used to that. I don't know if my nose is actually running more than in a normal winter, but it sure as hell is dripping more. I'm turning into one of those old ladies with the kleenex stuffed up her sleeve (well, it hasn't come to that yet - I keep them in my pocket). And to answer the question that came up earlier in the blog comments - nose hairs are an integral part of the frozen nose hair feeling that you get when it is truly frigid outside. I did some field testing yesterday while snowshoeing at -4 F, and I could not get that frozen nose feeling - just more of the running and dripping, accompanied by a deep chill in my sinuses and strange burning feeling in my lungs. So, that's two things that nose hairs are good for. And don't worry, I wrapped my face back up after my little test - you just have to dress for it, don't 'cha know?
And over the last few days I've found something else that I never thought to be grateful for: normal fingernails. It's seems that a new side effect has manifested that makes my fingernails hurt. I hope this isn't a precursor to having them fall out or something, but I keep remembering how my hair follicles hurt before my hair fell out, and I have to wonder. Anyway, it is kind of like that feeling when you have really abused a nail, trying to pry something, or scraping tape off something for too long, just sore underneath the nail. Now try to imagine that feeling on all of your nails, and then start to notice how many times your fingernails bump up against things in a given day. Just getting dressed is a new challenge. I just trimmed them down short and that seems to be helping. At least typing isn't a problem. And speaking of my hair, just to update those who don't see me often, I still do have some. It's kind of like the hair a baby would have - short, fine, and reddish-brown. All of the grey hair fell out and probably about 90% of it in total, but I'm not completely bald, which I'm grateful for. I hope it holds on through the rest of my treatment.
Even though I'm finding things that I forgot to be grateful for in the past, one thing I haven't forgotten is how lucky I am to have friends and family who care and are helping me get through this. Bitching about the little annoyances is therapeutic for me, but I really am grateful to (so far) have dodged the really awful side effects and to have the support system that I have.
And on that note, I'm off to Fargo for my first dose of Taxol tomorrow. I'm fairly nervous about it and I've read far too many horror stories online, but the chances are it will go well, so here's to hoping for the best!
So that's why my nose runs more quickly! I get nose hair waxed, just the ones that are noticeable. Or I should say I had it done once and now I do it myself occasionally. Crazy, perhaps.
ReplyDeleteDon't squeeze your nostrils together when outside. When we lived in Ely my nostrils would freeze together. So maybe the dripping will prevent that.
Hope your day goes well tomorrow. My friends and acquaintances haven't had problems with Taxol so hope you don't either.
By the way, kleenix stuffed up the nose is perfectly acceptable :-)
OK, I was absolutely fascinated by the nose-hair facts.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hope the fingernail discomfort is fleeting and not a Sign of Something Worse to Come.